DailyFeb03

Saturday, 15 February 2003
Proverbs 9:1-5 NRSV
Wisdom has built her house, she has hewn her seven pillars. She has slaughtered her animals, she has mixed her wine, she has also set her table. She has sent out her servant-girls, she calls from the highest places in the town, "You that are simple, turn in here!" To those without sense she says, "Come, eat of my bread and drink of the wine I have mixed.
Proverbs 9:13-17 NRSV
The foolish woman is loud; she is ignorant and knows nothing. She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the high places of the town, calling to those who pass by, who are going straight on their way, "You who are simple, turn in here!" And to those without sense she says, "Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant."

So, let me get this straight: There are these two women, calling at us from the high places of the town. They both cry out, "You who are simple, turn in here!" The first thing that occurs to me is that neither of them is going to attract many customers. Those who are not simple wouldn't turn in, and those who are don't realize that they are. It would be better to cry out, "If you're smart, you'll turn in here." Everyone likes to think they are smart. Wisdom offers bread and a wine cooler. Foolishness offers stolen water and bread eaten in secret. However, one gets the impression that she is really offering something else entirely. In fact, both are probably speaking metaphorically. Maybe it is just me, Lord, but I tend to ignore women crying out to me from high places. Once, years ago, I was walking through Thomas Circle in Washington, DC. I was in a hurry and minding my own business when this attractive woman called out to me, "Hey, you want a date?" I replied, "No, thanks." She said, "Why not?" I lied, "I've already got one." She opined, "Yeah, right." So, Lord, it is kind of hard for me to relate to this chapter in Proverbs. But let us suppose they are not women, but men. So there are these two guys calling out to me, one is offering bread and wine coolers, and the other is offering stolen bread and water. Which one will I go with? --The one who is better looking of course. Somehow, I get the feeling that is not the right answer. Which is more important, wisdom or eye candy? The answer is apparent. The difficult question is: which is more appealing? Let us count the number of times I have abandoned wisdom for a hunk of eye candy. Oooops, I don't have that many fingers. But as I am getting older, Lord, I am starting to notice that eye candy doesn't look as sweet as it once did. It is still nice to look at, but it is not always worth the price. I guess you are giving me wisdom in spite of myself. For this, Lord, I am eternally grateful. The closer I get to you, and the more filled with your Holy Spirit I get, the less I want to bother with anything else. This is the direction I want to continue. Keep filling me up with your Spirit, Lord. Draw me ever and ever more close too you. Be my one desire, stronger than all others combined. That, to me, is wisdom. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Friday, 14 February 2003

Proverbs 8:22 NRSV The L ORD created me at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of long ago.

Proverbs 8:23 NRSV Ages ago I was set up, at the first, before the beginning of the earth.
Proverbs 8:32 NRSV And now, my children, listen to me: happy are those who keep my ways.
Proverbs 8:35 NRSV For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the L ORD ;

Ah, Lord Jesus, Wisdom is beginning to sound a lot like you: created before the beginning of the earth, blessing those who keep your ways, granting life to whoever finds you. This is one of the problems with this book; it challenges my theology. I am definitely a post-resurrection Christian. I believe in God, the three in one: the Creator, the Christ and the Holy Spirit (AKA Father, Son and Holy Ghost). So where, exactly, is wisdom in this trinity? Well of course Proverbs was written before the concept of the Trinity was figured out, but truth is still truth. And it may suffice for some to say the passage is an extended metaphor, that there is not really a personified entity known as wisdom. But the imagery in Proverbs 8 is pretty strong. I read that the early church fathers actually debated over whether Wisdom was Christ or the Holy Spirit, based on this chapter. No mention is made of what the early church mothers thought. Perhaps they already had wisdom and didn't feel the need to debate it. Today's reflection seems more in my brain than in my heart. This is the temptation of intellectualism. We want to figure things out. We want to understand things and impress each other with our understandings. It is all a distraction, Lord. What I really want to know is you. True wisdom doesn't come from learning facts or even developing arguments. True wisdom only comes from knowing you. True wisdom is not a head thing, it is a heart thing. Oh, thank you, Lord. I just got a revelation. I was wondering about verse 22 and how to square it with Genesis 1. Yeah, I know, I am still in my head, but hear me out. I was wondering about the creation stories and how the creation of Wisdom fit in with that. Wisdom claims to have been created before anything else, but there seems to be no mention of it in Genesis 1. But then I remembered: According to Genesis, what is the first thing that God created? The Lord said, "Let there be LIGHT." But the sun, the moon and the stars are not created until the fourth day. Light is a metaphor for wisdom or wisdom is a metaphor for light, or whatever. But this helps me understand Genesis a whole lot better. See, Lord? If I just concentrate on you, the wisdom comes. You are one amazing God. My prayer for today is that the knowledge of you will inhabit the earth that your wisdom might guide us all. OK, I'll be more specific: Lord, please download a truckload of wisdom into our president. Reveal to him the full cost of war before he drags us into one. I thank you for the wisdom you've given to me, but George W. stands in need of a great deal more. He claims to be a Christian man, so let him be guided by the mind of Christ. Let him hear no other voices but the voice of Christ. And keep talking to him until he listens. The only power he has comes from you (though I'm not completely sure he understands that). So Lord, bother him. Bother him when he eats. Bother him when he sleeps. Bother him when he goes to the bathroom. Bother him when he makes love to his wife. Keep bothering him at all hours of the day and night until he listens. And Lord, on those occasions when I stray from your path, bother me as well. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Thursday, 13 February 2003

Proverbs 7:18-19 NRSV

Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey.

It is an age-old story: frustrated married woman seduces horny young stud. Apparently it was a big enough problem where the writer of Proverbs felt the need to spend considerable time warning against it. Back in verse four we are encouraged to treat wisdom like a sister and spend time with her rather than the adulteress. Somehow it is hard to believe the horny young studs were much persuaded by this argument. Imagine, your hormones are raging out of control, your testosterone level is the highest it will ever be in your life, and you are given a choice to spend time with some woman you think of as a sister who will preach platitudes at you or some rich, frustrated married woman who is hot for your body, who wants nothing more than to tickle your testosterone. Personally, I would choose wisdom because the adulteress doesn't really have anything that I want. At least with wisdom I might learn something. However, if I am going to enter into the spirit of the passage, I must see all of the characters as men. At its most basic level, the chapter warns me not to let sexual attraction lead me into places I will later regret having visited. (Is that euphemistic enough for you, Lord?) Can I imagine myself being seduced into situations I will come to rue? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Lord, you gave us powerful sex drives, and sometimes they get us into trouble. Sex is a good thing. It is a gift from you. With it, we can express love on deep and intimate levels. Those so inclined can use it to make babies. But it is so powerful, so wonderful, that it can tempt us into inappropriate liaisons. As we noted in a previous reflection, the one thing we do not have between our legs is brains. And so my prayer for this day is that you let me have a long and happy and healthy and fulfilling sex life. At the same time, Lord, do not let it over-ride my brain. Let me be wise enough to discern the difference between appropriate and inappropriate sexual expression. And let me be strong enough to act on that knowledge. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Wednesday, 12 February 2003

Proverbs 6:1-3 NRSV

My child, if you have given your pledge to your neighbor, if you have bound yourself to another, you are snared by the utterance of your lips, caught by the words of your mouth. So do this, my child, and save yourself, for you have come into your neighbor's power: go, hurry, and plead with your neighbor.

Hi God. The phrase that screams at me is "you have come into your neighbor's power." This is not a good thing. You, O God, are the only power we are to recognize. If we indebt ourselves to another, then we have given them some measure of power over us. The verse is a little more iffy over what to do about it. "Go, hurry, and plead with your neighbor." What is that? What are you supposed to plead with them? What are you supposed to ask for, your freedom? Why should they grant that request. Once you give someone power over you, their inclination is generally not to give it back. Of course, that could be the point: Don't sell yourself out in the first place, because there really is no going back. So Lord, keep me from giving away my power to any other human, for I am pledged to serve only you. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Tuesday, 11 February 2003
Proverbs 5:3-4 NRSV
For the lips of a loose woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

First off, Lord, I must confess I didn't even know what wormwood was, exactly. I looked it up; it turned out to be some sort of bitter herb. But what really drew me to this verse was the charming phrase, "loose woman." This ain't some old-timey translation; it is the New Revised Standard Version. It came out in the last 20 years or so. The NIV renders the phrase "adulteress." But I like "loose woman." It just has a certain ring to it that denotes so much more than "adulteress." Anybody could be an adulteress. A momentary indiscretion or lapse in judgment, a fleeting surrender to a biological urge with an inappropriate partner and wham, you are an adulteress. Not that it is excusable or should be taken lightly, but even only one transgression can brand you an adulteress for life. To be a loose woman, however, implies giving your entire life over to depravity. The loose woman has succumbed to those biological urges and found it as an intoxicating drug, continually craving more and more. There is a deep cavity in her spirit that cries out to be filled with the love of God. But not understanding spiritual things, she seeks to satisfy that need by filling her physical cavity with the love of men, which never completely satisfies. It is like an itch on the inside that no amount of scratching can reach. She has no shortage of willing partners because so many men think with their privates. Guys, get a clue: there are no brains down there. The passage warns us to stay away from loose women. There is a price to be paid for dallying in the wrong dilly. The proverb makes some interesting assumptions. Notice how it speaks of "loose women" but not "loose men." Some would say this is sexist, and perhaps it is. But I'm thinking that it might not be as simple as that. Perhaps the author doesn't speak about "loose men" because he finds the term redundant. Tradition says that Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs. Scripture says that Solomon had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines and that when he was old they turned his heart away from the Lord. If ever there was a loose man, it was Solomon. Apparently he didn't heed his own advice. But what does all this have to do with the Rainbow Nation? Where are the LGBT people in this story. Well, are we really all that different? Change the pronouns and it's us. We too have spiritual longings that we try to satisfy by sexual means. It doesn't work for us either. It just seems to me, Lord, that humans have tried for eons to stop having (or at least giving in to) inappropriate sexual urges. It doesn't work. Willpower alone is not enough. Lord, reveal to us the true need that is manifesting in these urges. We need more of you. We need you to scratch the itch that is deep inside that no other human, no matter how talented, can reach. Fill us, Lord, with your Holy Spirit. Only that will satisfy. And that you offer freely. And that we can indulge in daily without risking a trip to the clinic. For this and all things, I praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Monday, 10 February 2003
Proverbs 4:23 NRSV
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

As someone with a cardiac condition, this has a double meaning for me. In the natural, I must guard my heart with proper nutrition and exercise in order to stay alive. Lord, I am not doing a real good job of that. I need your help, Lord. A little over a week ago, at a Saturday morning prayer meeting, I formally and officially placed my obesity into your hands. (It's a good thing you've got such big hands...) Let's face it, all of my own efforts at diet and exercise have failed. Actually, I have succeeded on the Weight Watchers plan--several times (but all of those were before they instituted the "Points" program). Lord, that fat-thin-fat-thin pendulum was getting old. So over the past couple of years I got on a new one that swings from fat to fatter to obese. This one only seems to swing in one direction. So Lord, if I am going to succeed in having a healthy physical body, you are going to have to intervene. For when I try to do it myself, I have a proven track record of failure. I am trusting you, Lord. And I am posting these words on the Internet for all the world to see. Your reputation is at stake, God. For the sake of your name, I humbly suggest you answer my prayers and work whatever miracles you need to get and keep me fit, while granting me whatever grace I need to do my part. Of course the modern day Pharisees will get up on their self-righteous soap boxes and tell me how I need more self-control or self-discipline, yada yada yada. But what I really need more of, Lord, is you. And the Christian Pharisees are not the ones I'm trying to impress. Lord, non believers want to know if you are real. They want to know if you answer prayer. Show them, Lord. Let my very visible healing from obesity be a testament to your Glory. Is this selfish on my part? Well, perhaps. But either way, it is your reputation that is on the line. I am not asking you not to let me down. I am asking you, Lord, not to disappoint the non believers or tentative believers who want to see if you really do answer prayers. For if you do not, then guarding our hearts has no point. Whatever way you choose to go with this, Lord, I will praise your holy name, now and forever. For as long as I have breath, for as long as I am able, I offer you my praise. Alleluia and amen.

Sunday, 09 February 2003

Proverbs 3:7-8 NRSV

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the L ORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

This continues yesterday's theme. Lord, I have spent my life trying to be wise in my own eyes, or in the eyes of those whom I admire. I am recalling all the years that I strove to learn by heart all of the guidelines put forth by the church growth movement. Way before it was fashionable, the churches I pastored were fashioning purposes, goals and objectives. Well OK, I didn't learn the terms "Mission Statement," "Vision Statement" and "Core Values" until later, but the concept was pretty much the same. And oh, the energy we spent discovering our Spiritual Gifts to help our church grow. If we could just find the right questionnaire we could trick our Spiritual Gifts into revealing themselves. Of course, then we would need a program whereby we could develop our gifts and track our progress against an overall chart of the growth of our church. And when I began to become aware of the Renewal Movement, I did what I always do: I studied it. I analyzed it. I read books in an effort to gain understanding. I began to seek after signs and wonders as evidence of your presence. Lord, after a lifetime of trying to be wise in my own eyes, I have discovered that I don't know very much. There is nothing horribly wrong with mission statements and vision statements and core value, they do give us something constructive to do while waiting for the Holy Spirit to show up, but in the final analysis, they are really not the point. What I needed, Lord, was you. I needed and I still need more of you. There is a certain value in being clear about what we hold dear and what it is we believe God has called us to accomplish. But at best, these things provide an environment that facilitates growth of the body. But they are more like health care or preventive maintenance. What the body needs to grow is food. We need spiritual nourishment. There is just no getting around it, we need you, O God. And all the workshops, seminars and training sessions in the world are not going to change that. We can read medical manuals until our eyes are bleary, but unless we stop to eat, we are not going to grow. Similarly, the Body of Christ can learn all it wants about corporate dynamics and social theory, but unless it receives nourishment from the Holy Spirit, it will not grow. We need you, Lord. We need more of you. We need more and more and more and more of you. Feed us with your Holy Spirit for we are long on knowledge but short on wisdom. Our brains are bursting but our hearts are starving. We need you Lord, for without you all of our self-gained knowledge is as dung. And on that note, I praise your Holy Name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Saturday, 22 February 2003

Proverbs 15:15

NRSV: All the days of the poor are hard, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast.
NIV: All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

NKJV: All the days of the afflicted are evil, But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.

Thank you, Lord, for your holy scriptures and for all of the various translations available to us these days. But Lord, it can lead to confusion. Are the people poor, oppressed or afflicted? Are their days hard, wretched or evil? There is less discrepancy between a cheerful heart and a merry heart, and all agree on the continual feast. All of these translations were performed by respected Hebrew scholars, and see how they disagree. Not being a Hebrew scholar myself, how am I to know which is most accurate? And even if I were a Hebrew scholar, why should my opinion carry any more weight than anybody else's? Clearly the truth here can only be discerned by the Spirit. However, when I pray in the Spirit and ask which translation is true, what I believe I am hearing from you, Lord, is "All of them are true. Deal with it." Lord, I have been pondering these passages for the past 20 minutes with very little fruit to bear. Suddenly it occurs to me I am looking at the wrong end of the equation. It doesn't matter if the people are poor, oppressed or afflicted. It doesn't even matter if the days are hard, wretched or evil. What matters is that the cheerful heart has a continual feast. A cheerful heart is the best response to any situation, be it hard, wretched, evil or glorious. Even if we are poor, oppressed or afflicted, we can still have a cheerful heart. Even if our days are hard, wretched or evil, we can still have a cheerful heart. It is the cheerful heart that brings the continual feast, and it is not impeded by external circumstances. To paraphrase a modern maxim: "Doo-doo happens." Well, doo-doo may happen, but we don't have to let it get us down. I feel some clarification arriving. Here it is: A cheerful heart is not some Pollyanna smile factory where we pretend that nothing is wrong and force ourselves to smile, no matter what. No, a cheerful heart is a statement of faith. The only way our hearts are cheerful is when we know that we know that God is in charge. As long as I am absolutely sure that you are in charge, Lord, then my heart is cheerful in all circumstances. If I allow myself to believe that there are forces greater than you, O God, over which you have no control or power, then I lose all reason for cheer or even hope. If you are not in charge, Lord, my life is a waste of time; I'm just taking up space. But you ARE in charge. You are the creator and operator of the universe. As long as you are in charge, O God, my life belongs to you and no one else can touch me. But free-will has been granted and the price of that is that sometimes doo-doo happens. Knowing that you are in charge, I can just wash it off and get on with my life. A cheerful heart has a continual feast. So I'd best guard and protect my heart, that it remain cheerful. Thanks, Lord. I knew you could do it. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Friday, 21 February 2003
Proverbs 14:10 NRSV
The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.

"I'm there for you." "I feel your pain." "I totally know how you feel." Such are the words of well-meaning friends (and strangers) as we endure life's trials. And it is great to have the support of family and friends. But at the end of the day, Lord, it is only you who knows how I feel. Unless another person has been through what I have been through, they can't know how I feel. More than that, I bring to any situation the history of my life up to that point. Unless a person has shared that history, they cannot know how any given situation affects me on the inside. Only you, Lord. You hung on the cross and bore my sin and my pain and my agony and my shame. Only you can know how I feel. And most folks, alas, don't know you well enough to know how well you know us. I pray for the world this day, Lord, that everyone might get to know you better. And I also pray for myself, that I might get to know you better and better. How do I get to know somebody better? By hanging out with them, of course. So Lord, you wanna hang out? You are welcome to come with me to work. I can make room for you in my Jeep, and you can have that extra chair in my cubicle. By your grace, I will even make some more room for you in my heart. I can spare the left auricle and both ventricles. Well OK, seeing as it's you, you can have the whole thing. In fact, while you are at it, can you check on the stent they put in one of the coronary arteries and make sure it is still wide open and flowing free? In fact, Lord, I hereby give you permission to clear out all the arteries that feed my heart. While I have you on the line, since you are removing plaque from my coronary arteries, perhaps you could go ahead and clean out the carotids as well. And don't stop there. I've got some plaques on my skin from the heartbreak of psoriasis. Take those away as well. Come to think of it, if you are taking things away from me, I've got a few million fat cells you can have. Really Lord, you could remove half the bulk of my body, and I would still have enough left to live a healthy life. Just don't take any of the parts that I need. Well OK, you're God, you can take whatever you want. I trust you to do the right thing. Why? Because you know me. And I know that you know me. And I know that you know what is the very best for me. And I know that you want nothing less than the very best for me. The heart may know its own bitterness, and no stranger may share its joy, but you, O Lord, are no stranger to me. You share my joys and my sorrows. More than anybody else in the entire universe, you know how I feel. And that feels good. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Thursday, 20 February 2003

Proverbs 13:12 NRSV

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

This little couplet doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the chapter. In fact, verse 19 picks up the thread, but then goes off in another direction: A desire realized is sweet to the soul, but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools. What does the second part have to do with the first part? Lord, I know there is a lesson here for me, I just can't seem to see what it is. I can think of lots of things I hoped for but never got, and it does make my heart sick. And I can remember some desires that were fulfilled, and they were sweet to my soul, perhaps even a tree of life. What I am not getting is what I'm supposed to do about it. Proverbs are generally commands: do this, don't do that, be this way, don't be that way, etc. OK, two things are coming to mind: the first, based on verse 19, is that maybe the realization of desires is connected with turning away from evil. And since fools detest turning from evil, they do not see their desires realized. That is kind of a works-righteousness thing, which is not totally foreign to the writer of Proverbs. But something else more significant seems to be floating up. This takes verse 12 on its own merits. If hope deferred makes the heart sick and a desire fulfilled is a tree of life, then it behooves us to make sure our hope is not deferred and to make sure that our desires are fulfilled. How can we make sure of such things? Well, prayer is a good start. And prayers is more than, "O God, gimme gimme." Prayer also entails asking, "O God, is this really what you want for my life?" and then waiting around for an answer. The more I prattle on, the more clear it becomes that my hopes and my desires can really be boiled down to just one: "O Lord, I want more of you in my life." All other hopes or dreams or desires spring from that one. That one is the only one that matters. With it, all the rest becomes possible; without it, failure is certain. So here I am, Lord, once again asking for more of you. Will I ever get enough? I don't think so, at least not in this life. And I guess this makes verse 19 true as well: turning away from evil leaves more room in our lives for you, Lord. So I end up praying, "More, Lord." I want, I desire, I need more of you. I yearn for an intimacy with you like I've never known. I long to surrender my whole life into your hands. Even so, come Lord Jesus. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Wednesday, 19 February 2003

Proverbs 12:16 NRSV

Fools show their anger at once, but the prudent ignore an insult.

This is a lesson, Lord, that it has taken me a lifetime to learn. That is because there are layers of meaning here. When I was much younger, I ignored a lot of insults. More accurately I allowed myself to absorb a lot of abuse. Then, as I began to grow and find my inner strength, I came to believe the lie that anger is a source of strength. The world taught that it was empowering to allow ourselves to feel angry at our oppressors, and so I did. This proverb does not say we shouldn't get angry, it just advises against showing our anger. What's the point in that? Where's the fun in being angry if you can't yell at somebody? So, in the interest of standing up for myself, I developed the art of the stern gaze and the nasty retort. For some strange reason, my number of friends did not increase. The truth I am learning is that there is, indeed, power in anger, but not in the way I was previously taught. I have now come to believe that anyone who can make me angry has power over me. So, when I allow myself to get angry at someone, what I am really doing is giving away my power. A therapist once told me that anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it always follows after something else. Usually, the primary feeling is of being hurt. When someone insults or oppresses or attacks me, anger is not the first thing I feel. First I feel hurt, then I get angry. There is no shame in feeling pain. (There is no glory either, but that's another reflection.) In fact, it is important, essential even, to acknowledge my pain. And anger is a natural response to pain. It is OK to feel a flash of anger. Anger can be the impetus to take action. At that moment, it has fulfilled its purpose. The very next thing to do is let it go. Anger may be useful in getting me to act, but it is downright useless, counterproductive even, in helping me decide how to act. Anger may carry strength, but it is very stupid. Love, on the other hand, is very wise. If I let my actions be informed by love, I almost cannot go wrong. So Lord, I want you to help me add a third emotion to the string. After pain, after anger, let me feel love. Let my deciding factor be, "How would love respond?" Let my progression be from pain to anger to love. Pain, anger, love: PAL. Let me be a pal. Lord, this is really starting to sound sappy. But sappy or not, where anger gives away power, love empowers both giver and receiver. This is another one of those lessons, Lord, that needs to move from my head to my heart. I'm counting on you. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Monday, 17 February 2003

Proverbs 11:7 NRSV

When the wicked die, their hope perishes, and the expectation of the godless comes to nothing.

The hope of the wicked doesn't stand a chance. Lord, the passage doesn't exactly say it, but it implies that when the righteous die, their hope lives on. The hopes and dreams that come from you, linger here after we return to you. You have given me a vision for Revival within and beyond Metropolitan Community Churches. Let's get real, Lord. That vision is not shared by all that many, at least within MCCs. And I will give it my best shot, but there is much resistance and I cannot know how successful I will be. However, it is good to know that the hope will live on, whether I succeed or not. Who knows how many days I have on this earth? I could live 30 years or more; I could expire in 30 minutes or less. The 55 years you've given me have been good, and they've been hard. They've had some joy and no small amount of sadness. I tried to do the best I could with what I had. I also wasted a lot of time watching TV and playing video games. I guess what I'm getting to is that it is reassuring to know that my hopes will not die with me, whenever that time shall come. Lord, I wish I could say that I can see Revival, or I can taste Revival, or I know that it is already in progress. Alas, all I really know for sure is that I want it. I sense that it is very, very near. I know that I know that I know that I know that it is your will that your church come alive again. Perhaps Christ is getting ready to return and claim his bride, the church. In any case, I am sure you want a living bride and not a dead one. Please, please forgive my arrogance, Lord, but from where I stand it looks like not only is the church dying (or dead), but it is also pretty much totally clueless about it. The church suffers under the illusion that all is well (or almost). Like a junkie who does not see how the drugs are destroying his or her body, the church is blind to how its religion and focus on programs is really killing it. Religion gives the illusion of pleasing God, but even at its most sincere, it cannot touch the heart of God. Programs give the illusion of doing some good in this world, or at least of doing something--anything at all to remain relevant. And it is true that some programs do some good. But so often, they are little more than a distraction, or something to which we can point to show how good we are. Lord, save me from religion, deliver me from programs, fill me with your Holy Spirit. Let all my hopes and dreams be your hopes and dreams, that they may live on forever. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Sunday, 16 February 2003
Proverbs 10:24 NRSV
What the wicked dread will come upon them, but the desire of the righteous will be granted.

What I notice about this proverb, Lord, is that both results are the same. It has been a staple of pop psychology for decades: what you think about you become. But there is a bit of a difference here. What manifests in the life of the wicked is what they dread. What manifests in the life of the righteous is what they desire. But let's take that one level deeper. Why are the wicked so wicked? Because they are afraid. Their wickedness gives the illusion of strength to overcome the object of their fear. Why are the righteous so righteous? Because they have learned to trust in you, Lord, for all their needs. They are not ruled by fear, they are guided by love. Their desire is to give (and receive) even more love. What they desire will come to them. Were the wicked more wise, they would desire that God deliver them from what they fear. Of course, then they wouldn't be wicked any more. Instead, they try to overcome by their own strength and power. And they will use any means to try and increase their power. They believe the lies that anger and rage and cynicism and just plain meanness lead to strength. Of course, negativity breeds negativity and they become what they think about. And let's face it, as we live out our lives, we are given multiple opportunities to make this choice. Every time something happens to us that we don't like, from the death of a loved one to being cut off in traffic, we get to choose how to respond. Someone very wise once taught me that as we go through life, occasional sorrow is inevitable, but despair is optional. To which I would add occasional anger in inevitable, rage and the desire for revenge are optional. And so my prayer this day, Lord, is for a strength that comes only from you. You be my rock and my fortress and my shield that protects me from evil. You be my strength and my power and my victory. Do not allow me to believe or even consider the lie that anger brings strength. Let all of my strength and power be based on love. You promised that perfect love casts out all fear. Let me be filled with your perfect love, so that fear has absolutely no place in my life. Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.

Friday, 28 February 2003

Proverb 20:22

Do not say, 'I will repay evil'; wait for the L ORD , and he will help you.

In other words, we should not attempt vengeance on our own, we should wait for you, O Lord, to help us wreak havoc on our enemies. Is it just me, or does this sound just a little bit off? Both Romans and Hebrews quote a passage, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Which is similar to (but not exactly like) a verse in Deuteronomy. They may have been quoting the Septuagint. In any case, the Christian understanding is that we are not to take vengeance, but leave it up to you, O God. That I can live with. But Proverbs seems to imply we are to wait for you to help us repay evil. Of course, it could be a translation issue. The NIV says he will deliver you instead of he will help you. This puts vengeance back in your hands, where it belongs, O my Saviour. So where is the spiritual truth in all of this? Lord, you know how I get. When I perceive that someone has hurt me, I want to help them understand my pain by inflicting an equal amount on them. At least that is how I once was. By your grace, I have risen above that. . .most of the time. There are still occasions when I find myself fantasizing about getting back at someone. This day, O God, I hereby release into your care, not only all those who may have harmed me, but also any desires I may have for revenge of any kind. Deliver me, Lord, from any thoughts about getting even with someone. Prevent me from ever saying that I want justice when what I really want is revenge. Take any thought, any hope, any lingering fantasy of revenge from me. Replace it with a desire for love. Lord, this is tough stuff. The desire to get even runs very deep, but I surrender it all to you. Protect me from the lie that anger empowers me. Let your presence be the only thing that empowers me And may I dwell in your presence forever. Praise your holy name, now and always. Alleluia and amen.

Thursday, 27 February 2003

Proverbs 19:4-8

Wealth brings many friends, but the poor are left friendless. A false witness will not go unpunished, and a liar will not escape. Many seek the favor of the generous, and everyone is a friend to a giver of gifts. If the poor are hated even by their kin, how much more are they shunned by their friends! When they call after them, they are not there. To get wisdom is to love oneself; to keep understanding is to prosper.

The progression here, Lord, seems to be: Wisdom brings wealth and wealth brings friends. And nobody likes a poor person. Of course, Solomon should know. He asked you for wisdom and you gave him wisdom and wealth besides. Of course, there may be a subtext here. He may be lamenting the fact that once you acquire wealth, everyone wants to be your friend, and if you lose your wealth you lose your friends. This may be the reason why the sentence about the false witness is included (and repeated in verse 9). Everyone is a friend to a giver of gifts. That seems true enough, but it also seems kind of shallow. The poor are shunned by their friends; this is not a happy situation. If they were poor, how did they get friends in the first place? The whole passage seems to live in a kind of tension with itself. It seems to advise getting wisdom in order to gain wealth and gaining wealth in order to get friends. Maybe it is just my Christian perspective, but something seems not quite right here. To get wisdom is to love oneself. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? To keep understanding is to prosper. Is that a 'furthermore' or a 'however'? Does the keeping add on to the getting or does it negate it? Lord, I am doing it again! The book of Proverbs is continually tempting me to try and discern with my head and not with my heart. Reveal the spiritual truth to me, Lord, for all wisdom comes from the Spirit. To get wisdom is to love oneself. This is a good thing, but only so far. A healthy self-esteem is important. Excessive self-adoration is, well, excessive. So we must do more than get wisdom. We must also keep understanding. This leads to prosperity, which does have its price. Many seek the favor of the generous. This does not mean we should not be generous, only that we must be prepared. I discern that this passage is more true for material wealth than it is for spiritual wealth. If I got lots of money and like giving it away, I will have lots of friends as long as the money lasts. But if I have lots of Holy Spirit and enjoy giving it away, the friends I have will be much truer friends, but there won't be nearly as many of them. The good news is, that should I lose the Holy Spirit, those friends will not abandon me. They will help me find it again. That's the good news. The bad new is that wealth in the Spirit is so much harder to give away. That is not completely true. Those who want it, want it bad. The sadness is that so few want it. So my prayer for this day, Lord, is that you continue to prosper me with spiritual wealth, beyond my wildest dreams. Continue to allow me to be generous with it as well. And place in my path those with whom you would like me to share it. (And while we are at it, Lord, some material wealth wouldn't be so bad, either.) Praise your holy name, now and forever. Alleluia and amen.